Too Many Hands on My Time

In my previous blog, I discussed my realization of needing to have more compassion for myself and encouraged you all to do the same. But now I want to dive into how I went about this change in my life. But first, let me include a draft from August 12, 2020 and explain to you what I am doing differently now than I was doing then.

"The entire world is literally on standby right now but somehow I still find it possible to run out of time to accomplish all that I had planned that day. Granted, I do wake up at like 1 pm every day, but that's beside the point. I factor that in anyways. My point is, even with our very limited access to the outside world there are still several different occupations that demand our attention throughout the day. That being said, realizing that has emphasized the importance of structure and establishing priority.

While I would love to believe intent and willpower are enough to get something done, it's not. There have been way too many times where I would go to sleep with an idea or list of what I wanted to do the next day and woke up to get very little or none of it done at all. If you're someone who struggles with the management of time you know exactly what I'm talking about. Now don't get me wrong, I always get done what I need to, but I've learned a way to work more efficiently. Prioritizing, leveling."

I didn't finish that draft because I didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I didn't include the fact that I was too exhausted to do work for me because I was up late on the phone with a friend or looking for places to travel with my friends after the pandemic is over. Something I did get right but didn't apply to my life is prioritizing. As I stated in my previous blog I prioritized the people around me constantly throughout my life. And that's not to say it's a bad thing to care about your loved ones. But it is when you're consistently putting them before and above yourself. I titled this "Too Many Hands on My Time," like shorty, you're mad funny for that, everyone's hands were on your time but YOURS and that's because YOU allowed it. I had to give myself a little second-person scolding. (But I'm scolding you too if this applies.)

Anyways anywaysss, it all starts with you wanting better for yourself. I could not and did not change until I felt I deserved better than what I was experiencing at the time, in a general sense. I mean, I was down bad watching Norweigian dramas, I had no choice but to recognize I needed to do better at that point. With this, you have to be careful because self-awareness is not enough. The tough part is actually having to make the efforts.

I'm not even gonna lie to ya'll. Well, I never do. I love you guys. But I was scared. Because I didn't really completely know what that meant. I had been catering to others for so long I didn't know what I wanted. So you know what I did? I sat down and I made a list of my fears. And I was like, "cool." Then I was like, "Alright, now that I understand what is holding me back from what I do want I can be honest about what I want." This was an important process because if I didn't dig any deeper than my original question it may have taken me longer to figure out not just what I want but what I need. Understanding what you need is how you eventually achieve what you want. You feel me? So yeah. I have the time in my hands now. I'm holding myself accountable. I'm taking care of me, and I really hope this advice helps you take better care of you.