This interview with my mother took place two years ago in November. It was the very very beginning of several breakthroughs in our relationship. Although the feelings we had towards one another were volatile the love remained consistent. Since then we have successfully nurtured a relationship I always hoped and prayed I'd see in this life time. My older brother would always say "Mom's an immovable force and you're an unstoppable object." He didn't lie. But when we worked on accepting and appreciating one another's gifts, together me and my momma became INVINCIBLE. To going from being my bully to my hero. To being invincible together. - Family Oral History Informant: Elitha Dunn
“Experiences Raising Three Kids”
Collected: November 12, 2020 in Chester, VA
Informant Data
My mother is a 49-year-old African American.
A single mother who raised three kids mostly on
her own. Two girls and one oldest boy.
She was born in Chicago, IL but traveled
a lot as a young adult due to a military order.
Contextual Data
My siblings and I are our mothers' world.
almost everything she does revolves
around us. .
I thought it’d be nice to hear about her favorite Fall 2020
moments from raising us from any point in
the timeline.
Item:
Iphone XR
Transcription Key:
ALL CAPS = spoken loudly
… = indicates trailing off
[…] = pause
[sigh] = non verbal sound
- = speaking over each other
[chuckles] = indicates laughing in the conversation
This portion of the interview in particular is focused on my mom’s fondest memories of my siblings and me growing up. I am the middle child of three children. One older sibling and one younger sibling. Kymani is my older brother and is mentioned repeatedly during this portion of the interview because the second story was about him. Both stories took place at a young age for both my brother and I. My brother and I are 7 years apart so keep that in mind when reading the second story. In the first story, my mom is expressing one of my mom’s fondest memories of me which happens to take place in my toddler years. She goes into detail describing a scene of me trying to escape the pre-school as she leaves and talked about how it made her feel in the moment and how it makes her feel to this day. She briefly mentions the name Leo, Leo is my step-father and the only father figure I knew. Afterward, she moves on to explain one of her fondest memories of my older brother, Kymani. She made sure to include important context that helped the listener, me, understand. My younger sister isn’t mentioned in either story because she wasn’t born yet, she’s 4 years younger than me, and her story surpassed the time limit.
TRANSCRIPTION:
0:00-6:36
Me: Okay so I’m doing a family folklore interview on your experience raising all three of your kids. So I wanted to talk to you about your experience watching and raising three kids. [...] What was your favorite memory with me Khaya and Kymani? Whether it was with us together or individually. It can be from any age as well.
Mom: [...] So my favorite member, memory [laughs] memory of you, I guess I’ll start there [...] I don’t know that that’s fair, because I’m enjoying where we are now but when you were little, when you were really really tiny um, I was the center of your world and I would try to take you, you know give you to people and you wouldn’t go. I would try to drop you off at daycare and you were screaming, you were unhappy, you wanted to be with me. Um, so a specific point in that is when we lived in Georgia you attended a pre-school not too far from where we lived. And I dropped you off one day and walked to my car, welling I was walking to my car and turned to look and you were at the door trying to get out.
Me: [chuckles]
Mom: And that was pretty neat to me for one because you were my first girl, different from Kymani because he was like deuces but with you, it was different because you wanted to be a part of my world.
Me: That’s very sweet, I like that story. Especially because I can actually kind of remember that...
Mom: It actually was because it was this young teacher-
Me: Mrs. Mendy right
Mom: Mrs. Mandy, yes, and she was like “what is wrong?” I was like “I don’t know, what’d y’all do to my baby?” [chuckles]. But yeah.
Me: I remember, It’s so weird because I vaguely can remember pre-k like different parts of it.
Mom: Yeah, that was pretty cool and actually after that I had to start having Leo start dropping you off because you were not trying to have it when it was me. Now when you left the house with Leo it was different, you’d be like “Bye ma!” Because you knew you were with him. Bye whenever I would drop you anywhere, it didn’t matter where, you were not having it. Uhhh my favorite with Kymani was [laughs] um he was such an old man.
Me: Still is [chuckles].
Mom: He was such an old spirit, [...] just old. And we were in Texas [chuckling] and actually I was pregnant with you and getting ready to have you. I was going into labor that day and we hung out all day, we had a cookout, we were just doing the most and our neighbors up the street were his..one of them was his best friend. Like the little boy um [pauses] Austin! Austin. Austin was his name and the parents, Janet and I can’t think of her husband's name. They had made brisket and cabbage, and I like cabbage. And I was eating the cabbage. And so that night I said “I think somehow I’m gonna go into labor today.” And so that night we went back to the house, we were finished, the cookout was over, it was dark; So we lived in a little cul de sac, and that’s important. Because pretty much it was small and everyone knew each other. So I get in the house and I look over at Kymani and he’s like “You gon have that baby?” Not my sibling, my sister, my brother, none of that. [chuckling].
Me: [chuckling].
Mom: So [...] I did, I went into labor and had the baby. When I can home with the baby; because you were my second child they didn’t keep me forever. I came home and you were in the couch, on the sofa and Kymani; they said “Kymani, your moms home, her cars in the driveway.” He came home and he looked at you on the sofa and he was like “Why isn’t she talking, why isn’t she playing? I don’t want her, take her back. I want to play.” And that was like him saying “This is all about me. You den brought something home I can’t play with.” So I thought that was super cute and it was super innocent but at the same time he was not joking because when you did not get up and play he walked right back outside and went playing. [chuckling]. That’s probably my best memory with him. Cause he was so sincere. I really enjoyed this project. I knew not only would it be easy for me but I’d also enjoy it because I enjoy talking to my mom. Not only is she wise but I just enjoy listening to her speak and I can always tell she’s always willing to talk. It was so cute listening to my siblings’ stories whether I had heard them or not they always make me happy. The coolest part about it all is that I could also use this recording for a special family project one day. To someone else the value of this type of research may mean little to nothing but to me it’s priceless. If I could catch every good memory on tape I’d probably never have a bad day.
Why? Family Folklore Project
Who? My mother, mom, madre, birth giver as the interviewee, me and the interviewer
How? Recording on my voice memos app on my iPhone.
On what? Her experiences raising my two siblings and me, (with age gaps in consideration).
Where? At home
Providing background on the interviewee and your relationship: My biological mother of 20 years and counting. I have lived with her as my only parental figure for the majority of my life. Even with all those years living with a person for that long, I continue to learn more facts about my mom as time passes. Wisdom is always embedded in her transparency.
3. Discussing any concerns, doubts, expectations you may have:
Concerns:
Time is a big concern. My mom is an exceptionally busy woman but I also feel like project or not she’d make time.
I am also concerned about any interruptions whether it be by my siblings, her job, or my dog. I don’t want to make the interview longer than it has to be.
Expectations:
I have high expectations in regards to the quality of the interview because my mom and I can quite easily have a 45+ minute conversation. I almost missed one of my classes because of us talking last week.
4. Thinking about what your goals for the interview are and how you can best achieve them.
Goal(s)
I have one goal and it’s for myself and my mother. My one goal is that my mother feels heard and has fun. And for me to come out of the interview with more knowledge than I went in.
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