Okay, so. I've been extremely uninspired and unmotivated as of late. Frankly, I'd really been going through it. I was having an existential crisis, I was feeling a deep lack of purpose. I had been second-guessing everything I did or said, questioning why people would ever read my blog and even why people even speak to me. Which now looking back sounds ridiculous. I'm actually amazing.
I had noticed that the majority of my negative thoughts stemmed from the terrible act of subconsciously comparing myself to others, whether it be another artist, an influencer, or even a friend of mine. While I thought I was admiring the work of other artists or the charisma of influencers, whatever the case, I was simultaneously invalidating anything that I had to offer and that wasn't fair to myself. It seemed to sneak up on me, while I wasn't envious at the moment I was later affected by it because of overthinking and often times my inability to achieve the same level of success or exposure. Because of that, I felt like there was no point to anything that I did. I felt like my words or actions didn't hold as much weight as I may have previously thought they did. When in reality is, I may have planted a seed but it doesn't mean I'll always get to see the plant grow. I had to remember that. The presence of others talent is not the absence of my own.
Around that time a friend of mine texted me and unknowingly told me exactly what I needed to hear. It was a brief text about why she appreciates me as a person. The contents of the message gave me a warm feeling inside but what really struck me was that it was a reminder. A reminder that I am important, that I have a purpose, and that I am needed. A reminder that at the moment sometimes I can also see what is in front of me but whether I am aware or not I am part of a bigger picture. It had my eyes sweating if I'm honest. But my point with that story is just to say if you're feeling like your existence isn't making a difference you have to remember that it is rare that anyone lacks purpose, everything that you say or do impacts, different people, in different ways; most of the times ways you wouldn't even expect. I don't know man, in conclusion, I guess when it all comes down to it you just gotta have a little faith in yourself.